Are You Mindful or Mind-Full? – Greg’s Healthy Franchise Relationships 2-Minute Tip
Are You Mindful or Mind-Full?
I love this topic and Greg does a wonderful job both illustrating the difference (because sometimes we struggle to see it in ourselves) and providing tips to expand mindfulness each day. Read on…
“I recently sat in a workshop on Mindfulness led by a psychology colleague. Later, while chatting about her work, she said how stressed she felt and that her head was overloaded with the stuff she had to do. I couldn’t help myself and quipped, ‘Sounds like you are more mind-full than mindful’. We both laughed. You’ve probably noticed an upsurge of interest in the benefits of Mindfulness, so I’ve devoted this Tip to the topic.
Last week after a night flight from Auckland I caught a taxi home from the airport. Normally I sit in the front, but this time I chose the back seat as I needed to spread out and finish writing a learning journal for a franchise recruitment workshop. The taxi driver kindly offered to turn on an interior light so I could see more clearly. I thanked him and settled into my work. I could faintly hear his Indian music playing in the background. The next thing I knew he was asking how I wanted to pay. To my amazement we were parked outside my house. The 40 minute drive from the airport had felt like five minutes. This is one thing that can happen when we are relaxed and mindful, rather than tense and mind-full.
Being mindful can also mean paying close attention to what is happening around you with a sense of enjoyment, like you are watching the opening scene of a movie. For instance, when I observe my puppy running around the park playing with the other dogs. Another approach is to close your eyes and watch your thoughts pass by as though they are floating down a river and you are a spectator on the riverbank. Some people might call this a form of meditation. There are many ways to practice being mindful. The formula includes paying attention and doing something that requires mental concentration, feeling safe and relaxed, and accepting what is happening. This should not be confused with being passive. When we are mindful we are likely to be operating at our most creative and constructive.
Give up the F.A.Gs
On the other hand, when we are mind-full we are filled with thoughts that are neither useful nor constructive. Like cigarettes, these thoughts can be stimulating and even enjoyable in the short term, but no good for our health. So let’s call them F.A.Gs, which stands for Fear, Anger and Guilt.
Fear is the imagined doubts and uncertainties of what could go wrong (and make us look stupid), but probably won’t. That is why FEAR is appropriately referred to as False Expectations Appearing Real.
Anger on the other hand is what has happened that we don’t like. It comes from our expectations not being met. The more entitled we feel, the more these angry thoughts are going to fill our minds.
Guilt is what we have or have not done, that we regret. Perhaps we think we could have tried harder or shown more self-control. These are the expectations we have of ourselves, rather than of others.
Tips for being present
- Name the fear. Call it out for what it is. Fears are like insecure bullies. They strut around in our head trying to intimidate us. But if we uncover and challenge them for the imposters they are, they skulk off. Almost every fear we have will not eventuate if we approach situations in a mindful manner.
- Don’t be a Diva. Divas think they are more important than everyone else. If you are more accepting of others and ask what they need to perform at their best, you’ll find those angry, agitated thoughts start to dissipate. Be grateful. The truth is life owes us nothing, so everything good that happens is a bonus!
- Take constructive action. The most effective way to eradicate guilt and feel more confident is to take positive action. For instance taking responsibility for fixing something. Start small. Baby steps are best. Guilty thoughts thrive when we sit around brooding in self-pity. Take action and they’ll take off.
I thought I’d close with a quote from Master Oogway, ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present’. I couldn’t think of a better definition of mindfulness!”
Thanks so much, Greg, for the meaningful reminder and real-world tips.
If you would like to order any of Greg’s books on franchise relationships for yourself or franchise team, contact SPEAK! and let us know what you’d like.